To celebrate the birthday of René Auberjonois, this reviewer spent a week long look at 7 guest starring roles from the 70's by the incomparable Mr. Auberjonois. Today is the last day. Day seven: Charlie's Angels season four: Angels on Skates.
René Auberjonois returns to the Angelverse to face two new (to him at least) Angels: Kris and (my personal favorite) Tiffany. Apparently our man René agrees, since he immediately comes on to Tiff at the 'Wheels of Fortune skate shop' wearing a Bluto T-shirt (there's a giveaway if ever I saw one). He then introduces himself as 'Frederick Victor Fortune - call me Freddie' and offers to turn the Angels into 'Fortune Girls'.
As soon as the Angels go back outside to skate the Beach of Venice, their teacher Ken's partner Rita is kidnapped in plain view as well as broad daylight. Somehow the Angels can't do anything but watch it happen. Further more, the police are unable prove it really is a kidnapping and Kenny doesn't have enough money to pay a ransom nor the Townsend Agency. Kris still convinces Charlie and the gang to take the case any way. While Kris sticks close to Ken (who may or may not be involved), the others investigate possible suspects and hey, what do you know? They actually use fake names for a change! Bosley poses as 'Warren Rambert of the West Coast Roller Derby', while Tiff and Kel pretend to be 'Yvonne Henning & Tara White of Roller Disco Magazine'.
Of course we all know the man they should really be looking into is Freddie Fortune, owner of Flipper's Roller Boogie Palace where he does double duty as the silky voiced DJ (using a different voice because as we've found out several times this week, that's R.A.'s specialty). Shortly after- wards, we the audience finds out Freddie is indeed behind the kidnapping. His victim Rita Morgan turns out to be heiress Rita Lathrop, who ran away from home 6 months earlier. So that's where the baddies plan to get the money. Also now the Angels can be paid their usual fee by Rita's step mom.
A few noticeable things: every time we cut back to the Palace, Kris and Freddie are wearing a new outfit. But none of the other skaters ever change their clothes, not even Kenny. Also, whenever the two K's, Cheryl Ladd and Ed Begly Jr., share a scene together they have to sit down, because they hardly fit in the same shot owing to the substantial size difference between them. Freddie still hasn't made his ransom demand until after the Angels find out Rita's actual I.D. When he does, he goes to the trouble of attaching a special voice altering device to the phone, but still uses an easily traceable payphone right next to the side entrance of his skating rink. And as we all know by now, Auberjonois hardly needs a machine to alter his voice.
Kris finally takes Freddie up on his offer to join his Fortune Girls. Meanwhile Tiff is on a bike with a bag filled with 1 million dollars in cash: ransom money. At the same time, the skating competition is about to start, so Freddie is wearing his most outlandish outfit yet. This one resembles a sparkly, disco version of the Lone Ranger costume, without the mask but with musical notes on it to make up for that.
It's a shame the Great René A. never puts on a pair of skates himself nor does he participate in the final chase scene. Sure, he loses the game and Bosley holds a gun on him, but we never even get to see Freddie be arrested or hear what happens to him in the office wrap up scene. Ed Begley Jr. does get to skate and be part of the chase, with a lot of help from a professional skating double during the finale of the competition.
9 out of 10
It's been a hoot reviewing 7 Seventies Auberjonois capers in a row. Maybe we'll do this again some time, focusing on another prolific guest star from that era.
To celebrate this weeks birthday of René Auberjonois, this reviewer is having a week long look at 7 guest starring roles from the 70's by master of inflection Mr. Auberjonois. We're already at day six: Starsky and Hutch: Dandruf.
Hutch and Starsky are undercover at a beauty salon as 'Mr. Marlene' and 'Mr. Tyrone' respectively. Hutch is doing a full blown Mr. Humphries act in a blonde curly wig. He also occasionally has a lisp. Meanwhile Starsky is doing a really bad Inspector Clouseau impersonation that is almost insulting to Peter Sellers. At one point, Starsky pronounces 'guy' as 'gay'. Before the end of the first act, they engage in a chase scene that ends that in a pool, as usual.
The focus of our review, René Auberjonois, is 'The Baron', 'who's infamous reputation precedes him'. He is out to steal the Belvedere Diamonds at the unnamed hotel S&H work at. Nobody knows what the Baron looks like, but Scotland Yard does know the kind of cigars the Baron smokes: Corona Supurba. Every time the Baron appears, René uses a different voice in a ploy to secure his secret identity. It's also proof of why René is such a good voice-over artist. His disguises include a doctor, a bartender, elevator attendant and a cop.
Is this show always so over the top? All the characters look and act like cartoon characters. From the cliché gangsters wearing 30's fashion to all the patrons at beauty salon and the hotel guests they bump into. Of course René the A pulls it off well. And the two title characters are portrayed as the object of every beautiful woman's undying affection. Oh I get it, it's a the old Warren Beatty routine from 'Shampoo'. In the Seventies, leading men could still play the gay hairdresser for laughs, but had to make sure to kiss a different girl in every other scene to prove their masculinity.
Tyrone and Marlene run into hotel security Buddy Owens who is in charge of the diamond sale security and reluctantly team up with him. When Buddy ends up in hospital, he is somehow allowed to keep his gun holster on, complete with gun. Huggy Bear also joins the circus in disguise as 'Prince Nairobi' and the other two actually accuse him of 'hamming it up'.
During the all important auction that everything has been leading up to, S&H position themselves on a coach with their feet up and read a newspaper while Huggy manages to outbids himself. It's like writer Ron Friedman is really trying too hard to be funny. This being the fourth and final season, David Soul appears to be bored with the whole affair. If he isn't yawning in another characters face and getting distracted while important information is being divulged, he's fidgeting with his sunglasses and wig. Meanwhile, Starsky is carrying around a stepladder in several scenes for some undisclosed reason.
At least The Baron manages to escape without being identified. He even weeds out the police bug from between the diamonds, though Huggy gets the last laugh by switching the real jewels with fakes.
6 out of 10
Auberjonois week will conclude tomorrow with Charlie's Angels: Angels on Skates
To celebrate this weeks birthday of René Auberjonois, this reviewer is having a week long look at 7 guest starring roles from the 70's by the incomparable Mr. Auberjonois. Today is day five: Wonder Woman: Spaced Out.
This installment opens with very funky spy music as our own Auberjonois climbs into the Torrence Aerospace Plant to steal a trio of collimating crystals from a giant telescope. He manages to escape getting caught by the guards by disguising himself as a cleaner, or more accurately, a 'Conciergonois' and hides the crystals in a crate filled with Apollo moon rocks about to lend out to the Space Questicon.
René plays professional burglar James Kimball, who's faced Wonder Woman before (though not on screen). This is something the writers on this show liked to do a lot: Wonder woman and her alter ego Diana Prince both have lots of acquaintances that she met on adventures between the episodes. This particular story is filled with them: apart from having failed to catch Kimball at least once, Diana also knows Sylvester Grogan, son of the 'famous Professor Grogan' as well as the crook Kimball is working for, Simon Rohan. Apparently WW 'ran into him last spring when he was arranging to bug the U.N. committee room' (an adventure that was obviously not exciting enough to be televised).
So Diana Prince reluctantly agrees to accompany Sylvester (who wants to be called 'Sly' even though his friends call him 'Ester') to the Space Questicon's main attraction: a costume contest hosted by Robbie the Robot itself. Kimball meanwhile knocks out an actor known only as 'the Masked Avenger' and puts on his world famous outfit. This actually makes him draw even more attention from the convention goers, who are all enormous Masked Avenger fans. The studio shot convention scenes are inter cut with some footage filmed at the 1978 Galacticon in Los Angeles. Of course none of the early Star Wars cos-players seen here take part in the costume contest, which seems to be promoting some kind of Logans Run cult instead, calling them "Logies" as opposed to "Trekkies".
You've really got to hand it to the man: René Auberjonois spends almost the entire episode wearing a mask over his face, and yet he still manages to convey all kinds of emotions with just his eyes. Not only does this show the man has a refreshing lack of vanity, he also manages to make a lot out of very little. Eventually Kimball and Wonder Woman team up to recover the crystals and catch the bigger crook, Rohan. Kimball manages to slip away from Diana/WW once more (how many times does that make?), meaning that for once, the final freeze frame features Diana looking concerned instead of the usual bright smile.
9 out of 10
Kimball may have escaped, but René Auberjonois week will continue tomorrow with Starsky and Hutch: Dandruf.
To celebrate this weeks birthday of René Auberjonois, this reviewer is having a week long look at 7 guest starring roles from the 70's by the incomparable Mr. Auberjonois. Today is day four: Man from Atlantis: Crystal Water, Sudden Death.
Our guy Auberjonois is introduced early on as Havergal, first in command to recurring villain Mr. Shubert. They are searching for a mountain of crystals hidden deep within the Mid Pacific. Although Havergal is skeptical, they're underwater craft soon bumps into a force field and then Shubert simply decides to wait until Mark Harris, the Man from Atlantis, shows up to get them past it.
Indeed, the title character and the largely unnamed crew of the Cetacean are soon on their way to the strange sphere that Mark manages to get into without too much trouble. There he finds an underwater world that looks remarkably similar to Earth, the main difference being a blue filter over every outside shot. Nobody ever brings up the idea that Mark himself may have come from this place, and indeed the inhabitants are far more alien looking than him; clad in bright white unitards that cover everything but their white painted faces. They must have had these outfits left over from Everything you always wanted to know about sex...
The guest cast credits at the start of the episode identify the underwater beings as 'Clicks' because of the way they speak, yet Mr Harris from Atlantis has not trouble understanding their language and later off-handedly remarks that their world is called "Killburough Deep". Meanwhile, Shubert and Havergal follow Mark wearing rather unfaltering diving-suits, and soon take over the entire joint with the use of two multi-coloured flashlights. Shubert then forces the Killburoughians to dig up all their crystals and so he can use them to take over the world with giant crystal powered satellites.
Despite all his powers, Mark is rather powerless to stop them, and his pals over on the Cetacean never even bother to put on a wetsuit and go take a peek inside the sphere. In the end it's our hero René Auberjonois who turns the tide by rebelling against Shubert (but only because he doesn't want to die inside the sphere once the crystal power is all depleted). It comes as no surprise that he and Victor Bueno (as Shubert) get all the best lines, but then again they don't have a lot of competition from the Clicks nor the stoic Man from Atlantis, who mostly just emotes in his yellow trunks and sunglasses.
Not much of a stretch for Monsieur Auberjonois this episode was, but at least he got to act all nervous again and was even accused of being 'whiney' by his superior. Haha!
7 out of 10
René Auberjonois week will continue tomorrow with Wonder Woman: Spaced Out!
To celebrate this weeks birthday of René Auberjonois, this reviewer is having a week long look at 7 guest starring roles from the 70's by the incomparable Mr. Auberjonois. Today is day three: McMillan and Wife: Once Upon a Dead Man.
Since this is the pilot episode, the first 30 minutes are spent getting to know the title characters Stewart and Sally McMillan. Stewart is the San Francisco police commissioner and his chief is played by Grandpa Joe from Willie Wonka. Susan is explained to be the daughter of the late criminologist Fred Hull, setting up a knack for crime solving in her as well as him.
We also get to witness the moment where Mrs. M is first introduced to (who will become a) recurring character Sergeant Enright. The couple has several scenes filled with humorous banter before we get to the actual crime, including some which concerns Stewart's lack of clean underwear. Apparently all the scenes set in the McMillan home were filmed in Rock Hudson's actual house so it shouldn't really have been a big problem finding some...
The coffin of Caesarion, son of Julius Caesar and Cleopatra is stolen while it is being auctioned and of course the high society mingling McMillans are already present on the scene. Various suspicious looking character actors are introduced, including Dr. Smith from Lost in Space and actor Kurt Kasznar, but it takes until well after the crime has been committed until we finally get to see our hero, the Great Auberjonois. Just a few seconds shy of the 42 minute mark, he finally bursts on to the scene as only he can, playing André Stryker, a theater producer with a nervous tick.
Sally and her mother Emily attend one of André's post premiere parties and Mrs. M almost walks into a glass window. Do you think this will be important later? Shortly they are joined by Mr. M, who expresses frustration about being unable to identify the mastermind behind the sarcophagus theft. Guess who we cut to? A big close up of our man René. Coincidence, or just a Red Herring? Possibly a bit of both?
After some more people turn up dead and an exciting chase seen that begins on foot and ends on two bicycles, the Commissioner and his trusty Sergeant figure out what the director and editor have been trying to tell us all the time: André has to be the one behind it all. But his nervous tick gets the best of our man Auberjonois and his stunt double crashes through the plate glass window that was so nicely for-shadowed earlier. So now every last suspect is dead and there's still no trace of Caesarion.
So it turns out René's part, despite being fourth billed, only consists of three scenes. Further more, although he was definitely one of the bad guys, he's not the one that gets his satisfactory comeuppance in the final act. That honor goes to another actor, but his identity cannot be revealed in this review just in case we might decide to spend a week's worth of IMDb comments on him some time in the future.
7 out of 10
Lets hope R.A. will have a larger part when we return tomorrow to review his guest starring role in Man from Atlantis: Crystal Water, Sudden Death.
To celebrate the birthday of René Auberjonois, this reviewer is having a week long look at 7 guest starring roles from the 70's by the incomparable Mr. Auberjonois. Today is day two: The Bionic Woman season two: The DeJon Caper.
R.A. bursts onto our screens before the start of the opening credits and introduces himself as Jacques LeRoy, wine merchant from Bordeaux. But OSI leader Oscar Goldman immediately exposes Jacques to be Piere Francois Lambert, extraordinary forger and all around fraud. Goldman then basically blackmails Pierre into helping the OSI catch Michael Beaumont, or 'Michel' as Pierre pronounces it (the alternative being Folsom Prison).
So Pierre and OSI's top agent Jaime Sommers (or 'Babe' as Goldman candidly calls her) fly to Paris (read: the 'European section' of the Universal back-lot), where everybody speaks English with a French accent - even the speaking clock. Of course they all tend to lean a bit towards Peter Sellers' Inspector Clouseau, but nobody pulls it off better than the guest star with the 100% French surname: Monsieur Auberjonois.
The first half of the caper involves Pierre pulling all sorts of pranks to get rid of Jaime, like breaking into another man's house at the Place Victor Hugo and dressing her up like a 'lady of the evening' before calling the Gendarmes. Notice that he only gives her a dress but when she's all dressed up, she's also wearing a wig. Did she get that one out of her OSI special accessories handbag?
Eventually P & J are captured by the very fish they set out to catch, Michael/Michel Beaumont, who still needs Pierre to finish his DeJon forgery. And this is where writer Arthur Rowe really starts to put strange notions into the characters mouths. First, Pierre insists on Jaime posing for him even though he is copying a famous painting, because having a flesh and blood model in front of him, gives him 'a sense of what the masters saw'. In his defense, René just about manages to pull it off convincingly.
Then Jaime, knowing they will both be shot once the painting is finished, comes up with one of the lamest plans ever. She dresses a mannequin doll in her artist model clothes, throws it out of a window and then jumps after it wearing Pierre's clothes. All this to make the crooks think Jaime and Pierre have committed suicide. And of course Beaumont & co fall for it and don't bother to check the bodies ("Tell the gardener to clean it up after we leave"). I can only guess the reason for this malarkey must have been that the writers were forced to incorporate a certain number of Bionic jumps in each episode.
As we get into the third act, Jaime pulls off even more tricks to Pierre's amazement (he doesn't know about her bionic limbs). First she confuses everybody by switching the fake and real paintings at Le Musee Commemoratif De Henri Rousseau, then later she joins in with the fake accents (hers supposedly being Swedish) on the yacht of Don Alfredo Moreau (aka the Corsican Godfather). His yacht is supposed to be anchored in Cannes, but in the background you can clearly see the Marina del Rey Helmsman statue, complete with steering wheel.
Although believability is far to find, it's still a very enjoyable romp thanks to the combined efforts of Lindsay Wagner and René Auberjonois, who end the show on good terms despite of everything. Does she really expect him to stay on the right path from now on and a become an honest painter? Apparently he did because unfortunately Pierre Lambert never made a second appearance.
However, René Auberjonois week will continue tomorrow with McMillan and Wife: Once Upon a Dead Man.
7 out of 10
To celebrate the birthday of René Auberjonois, this reviewer is kicking off a week long look at 7 guest starring roles from the 70's by the incomparable Mr. Auberjonois. So lets get started with day one: Charlie's Angels season one: The Seance.
Wearing a dark brown suit and sporting a tidy, trimmed beard, R.A. plays Terrence, assistant to Madame Dorian, a so-called 'spiritual adviser'. The Angels are investigating a string of jewelery thefts and Kelly is posing as 'Miss Osling', a rich oil heiress who recently lost her father.
Terrence speaks slowly, with an articulate and almost hypnotizing voice. Indeed, as soon as he gets Jill to leave the room, he puts Kelly under his spell with a little help from a music box. The melody that this ornament plays will be the trigger that puts Kelly into a trance and will make her reveal all her secrets to him. Later that night, during Madame Dorian's séance, Kelly reverts to a child on hearing the music box and starts to recount a trauma from her days at the orphanage. Of course Jill isn't clever enough to put two and two together and just laughs in her best friend's face.
Up till now, Le Auberjonois has been giving a rather subdued performance. But this changes once Terrence orders entranced Kelly to visit him in the middle of the night. Instead of telling him all about her bank accounts (which he plans to plunder), Kelly tells him the truth about her job for the Townsend Agency. The moment he learns this, Terrence drops the silky smooth voice and begins talking high pitched and nasally. His entire act changes from a smooth, in control butler type to a nervous crook. It's like René is playing two different parts within the very same scene. It is also worth noting that it's quite common in Charlie's Angels that one of their covers gets blown. After all, the Angels usually neglect to use a false name while on a case. But to have the bad guy drop his act in the very same scene is a great twist.
From here on, Terrence knows his game is up and tries to make one final grab of wealth before making a getaway. He occasionally drops his nervous 'actual Terrence' persona to give Kelly orders in his slow- talking 'hypnotist' voice. This is especially amusing since Kelly is shown to answer his questions even when he speaks in the nervous voice. During the final showdown, having already had a Angel Fu tussle with Jill, Terrence puts on the voice one last time to stop Kelly from pointing a gun at him, but by that point, Kelly isn't listening to anyone anymore.
The caper ends up with all three Angels laughing and Terrence looking wide-eyed and lost - a look Auberjonois always pulls off well. Jill refers to him one last time as 'Terrence the Terrible' during the office wrap-up. But René Auberjonois' performance was good enough for him to return to face the Angels again in season four, an episode which we will look at later this week.
As for this Seance, we give it 8 out of 10. Happy Birthday, René!
Auberjonois week will continue tomorrow with The Bionic Woman: The Dejon Caper!
